Sept 3

Bloody Mary swung by so I had to endure the pain that came with it. I moped in bed hoping life would be gentle to me. I smile after every dua I make but that smile immediately goes away because now the hoping has stopped and I’m back thinking whatever I was crying about before. I tried to calculate weather I cried the size of a pool or a hot tub the last year. I’m leaning on backyard pool. My body aches and my back needs hot stones rubbed on it. My hair has reduced the volume to 10% and all my ends have been permanently damaged. Beauty is sacrifice and that included my already dying hair. I cannot look at myself in the mirror. My hair is gone, my face is breaking out, my cheeks are getting bigger, what is going on? I made traditional Somali pasta iyo suugo. We had banana for once, I found joy in that. I’m having family problem, relationship problems, mental struggles and I am physically deprived. This has been the absolute worst year or so of my life. I feel like I have wasted so much time doing absolutely nothing. I try to not dwell on thinking I haven’t done much for myself but damn do I feel like a fucking loser. Anywho, my throat is starting to swell meaning this is getting a bit to emotional. I look forward to updating this and vamping this page myself.